Although I got most of my hateful feelings out in that message, I still feel the need to strangle her for more information. WHY DINO, THOUGH?! FUCK SOME OTHER GUY, DAMN. Singlehandedly, she (well, they) ruined my perception of how I thought life was going to be: WITH Dino & several children with a house and the white picket fence and whatnot... I see everything without Dino now; the male's face is a blur.
I don't like feeling this way. A part of me deep down still wants to have everything with that knuckle headed boy. Another part of me is just yearning for happiness. I don't think I'll ever be 100% that with Brandon. Anything that we've done in the privacy of a bedroom, I picture him with other girls. It makes me feel insecure and uncertain. What if he does it again? Although he promises he won't, I don't know the validity of those any longer. =\. I just want to be certain about at least ONE thing right about now.
I mean, my night ended smoothly until I saw the bullshit excuses she gave me as to why all of that shit went down.
I have problems, but I`m not fucking every boy I let into my house.
I--okay, let me stop judging her.
I could respect this a shitload more if it WASN'T.HER.
Well, I couldn't.
i don't know.
i`m talking to myself.
i`d much rather this be a dream that I could wake up from.
I would be able to just laugh this shit off.
But, instead, I`m up at 5:20am in tears.
Fuck my life .. ?
I don't like feeling this way. A part of me deep down still wants to have everything with that knuckle headed boy. Another part of me is just yearning for happiness. I don't think I'll ever be 100% that with Brandon. Anything that we've done in the privacy of a bedroom, I picture him with other girls. It makes me feel insecure and uncertain. What if he does it again? Although he promises he won't, I don't know the validity of those any longer. =\. I just want to be certain about at least ONE thing right about now.
I mean, my night ended smoothly until I saw the bullshit excuses she gave me as to why all of that shit went down.
I have problems, but I`m not fucking every boy I let into my house.
I--okay, let me stop judging her.
I could respect this a shitload more if it WASN'T.HER.
Well, I couldn't.
i don't know.
i`m talking to myself.
i`d much rather this be a dream that I could wake up from.
I would be able to just laugh this shit off.
But, instead, I`m up at 5:20am in tears.
Fuck my life .. ?
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