Houstatlantavegas.

Recapping prom dayy: Horrible. I've never ever had a bad day like that. Everything just went wrong. I wasn't getting my way, my date was being a douche, and ... everything was just failing. My hair was put on hiatus because the makeup artist came 20 minutes early. My hair took about an hour longer than anticipated, also. EVERYTHING went wrong with my date. We did not get the car that I wanted, and besides that WE DIDN'T MATCH. He had on red, and I had on black white and silver. [facepalm] How irritating. Prom was ok. I didn't dance. I took pictures of everyone looking really nice, though. I left prom early, ditched my date, and went to Steak & Shake with the threadlings. Best thing that happened all day.

Onto boy news, like always: V = out of the picture. R = still contemplating if we'd be better friends than anything else.. Dino = we're sooo in limbo again. =(. As ALL of cyberspace knows he and I have fidelity problems, of sorts. [shrug] Idk where he and I stand, truthfully. Like, I want to be with him, but all of the lies hurt me more than the actual deeds. & besides that, I don't want my friends to think bad of me. I don't want to be the girl that keeps going back to the guy that hurts her. At the end of the day, though, the pros outweigh the cons with him. I don't know. Our relationship is complicated as HELL.

I graduate on Friday. ^_^. I`m uber excited, maaan. I`ll be sooo done with high school and all of the childishness! Weird, I haven't shed a tear about leaving everyone behind YET. I know that shit is going to set in soon, though...

Anyhooo, I`m off to do soe much needed laundry. I`ve been going commando for waaay too long. =P.

Byeee.

Square one.

I shouldn't care, but I do. You feed me bullshit. BULLSHIT. But hey, everything about the sitch seems trivial right now. Everything about every sitch that has occurred in the past 2 weeks seems trivial.
I`m floating on fucking air, right now, for reasons unbeknownst to my ass. Maybe it's because of R ... ? [smiles] Maybe. He and C came over today/tonight/this morning. Fun fun FUN! R & I were being hella childish, writing notes on each other with Sharpies. ^_^. I haven't been this happy in a long time, and I mean it. I hope he likes me, because it's common knowledge that I like him.. [shrug]
School is done with. Prom is [technically] today but the excitement has worn off. Whomp. Date's bein` a dick again. Graduation is in a week, and I`m more excited about that!
Hm, but that's all I wanted to blog about for the time being. ^_^. Au revoir.
[floats off on happy cloud]

Free.

Free by Deneice Williams reminds me of the days we used to take my great-gran to dialysis.
I miss her.


=((.

claiming other people's kids on yo income tax.

Thought I should bliggity blog before bed. bed time was about 6 hours ago, but whatevs!

Prom is in 2 days. Graduation is in 10. I`m excited for both... to come and fucking GO! Prom is stressful. I`ll be in that dress for a total of 5 hours.. and then what? 10 weeks of preparation goes down the drain. Whompidy. Graduation will last 2 hours, max. four years of prep. fuck my life.

Brandon & I will never get enough of each other. It's weird how we understand each other, but other people don't. Do us a favor and not take sides. It's detrimental to 'friendships'.

Fuck my life. It's 1:16am. I have to get up at 3:30. Good ... morning?

Robo Tussin.

I think I have a new favorite song .. Robo Tussin by Flying Lotus. It's just A Milli put to another beat.. I just really like the beat. Lol. It soothes the spirit.



I haven't blog'd in a little bit. I want to start by talking about Friday. Friday was Mumford's prom. Didn't go to the prom, but the festivities afterwards was soooo hype! Khloe, C, R & I go to the Marriott in the RenCen because Key had a room there. A girl whose name escapes me gave us vodka. Well, she gave C & I vodka. R had to drive and didn't have anything, & Khloe didn't drink by choice. Let me just state that drinking on an empty stomach was a STUPID idea. Within 15 minutes I am in a drunken rage. According to everyone else, I threw Khloe's glasses at C, knocked the ice pitcher down, and was hiding in a desk chair. Lmao. Uhh, at some point, I remember everyone from the 9th floor coming up to our floor (the 38th) and we went up to someone's room on the 59th floor. Things get hazy here. Kieona runs out of the room with a full bottle of 1800, some girl was on the floor talking about cameras, and I yanked her off the floor and ran to the elevator. Roderick was faced down on the floor, I do remember that. On the elevator we were all face first into the floor, because those elevators were NO HOES. They went down fast as helllllll. Erm.. so we're back in the room and someone says that I laid on the floor for 4 hours, but I don't believe them. It felt like 30 minutes. =\. I threw up, and I instantly felt better. ^_^. R & C went to go get food, I remember that. I told R that he was cute, and according to Tori, that "he could get it". I am facepalming myself. Inhibition just LEAVES, doesn't it? They get food, and there is a discussion on R & I. Something about a closet and soiling Kieona's prom dress.. Lmao. I'll leave it at that! Someone in the room found it imperative to tell him all of the things that I shared .. GAH! They come back with food, I eat, I`m sober. Some boy ends up in our room earlier that night had JUST woke up. This was at 6, haha. That nigga got his eight hours ... Erm, we just talk until about eight.. Lollygag until 11:30, basically, and then leaves because C got bitched out by his mother. Bwahahahaha.

I think I have a crush on R. A big one. & I feel like a douche for having it. I know that one of my friends has a crush on him (sorry) and I don't know what to do, truthfully. Whompity. I just think he's really nice, and we sort of click and whatnot. [Khloe definitely told him that she thought he had a stick up his ass on Friday, lmaooo] In other 'crush news', I don't think V & I are progressing, so I may just... drop the idea of a relationship after prom. I don't see it at all. Uh .. oddly enough, I don't see a 'Zewdo' anymore. =(. Makes me sad, but I like us being friends. & plus it's not too much obligation.

I made this blog post to talk about the division between the thread and whatnot but then I realized I don't really give a fuck. I'm getting too old for petty shit, and besides that it feels great to make new friends!

My prom is on Friday. Yaaaay. Graduation is the Friday after that, yaaaaaaaaaaay!! Erm.. That's it, I think? My housing assignment should be here by next week, I believe. I`m nervoussss.

Damaged.

5/12/09
Aunt Portia died yesterday. I`m afraid of calling Heidi or Grandmama, because I can't stand the pain. I'm doing pretty well, and it will all crumble if I hear one of them even sniffle. =\. I hate this. It hasn't sunk in that she isn't physically here. She was seemingly fine when I saw her in January. I hate the way things change so quickly, man. The funeral is on Monday. Can I do it? =\.

5/16/09
Thursday was one of the longest days of my life.. I went to school, I came home and did homework and cleaned up, and then it was off to the Big Sean x Dusty x Drake concert. Talk about a long ass concert, for beginners. I practically MADE myself be outgoing, and I made a few new friends doing so, although they all still out-loud me. Lol. My weird crush on A isn't going away, and it's creeping me out. It doesn't help that people KNOW that I like him.. which means that this is going away any time soon, huh? Either way, I get shivers all up and down my body, even though they shouldn't be there .. I can't explain it. He's one of those .. 'unreachable' niggas to me. I`m a 17 year old nobody, whereas he's... Almost/Finally Famous. Haha. I love my humor. Either way .. I don't know. I`ll get over the whole thing eventually.

Btw, getting home at 7:30 is NO HOE. I was up for literally twenty-four hours. Oh, to make a few people jealous, Drake was in the hotel room next to ours, so I can officially say I`ve been closer to him than most.

I met a few people from Finally Famous, & I really thought they were going to be dickheads, but they really aren't. They're cool as hell, and I wouldn't mind hanging with them again. They make me laugh.

In other news, my prom is in about 2 weeks. I`m sort of excited. Not all the way excited because I didn't want to go in the first place. Kind of excited because my shoes are fucking beautiful. My only hang up is WHO THE FUCK IS GOING TO DO MY HAIR. no no no, HOW am I going to have it? It's stressful. Andddd I have to make nail appointments and whatnot! Stressssfull.

Graduation = June 5th. I need to find a place to have my dinner.

I appreciate the 'greenery' outside.

Supposedly, my mom is buying me another iTouch today. I`m trying not to get too happy about it, just in case she changes her mind or something. But, just in case, I`m about to go put on clothes.

Au revoir.

Deep Waters...

... I`m drowning.
Feeling really depressed.
[shrug] idk why.
11-13 days of school left. [lost count].
I need a new phone.

I would love to be left alone. Bwahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahaha.

This is me blogging from the comforts of my bed, via my phone.

i know who my grandfather is now. Edward Ware, dead from AIDS. =/.

I haven't spoken to my prom date since last Thursday, & I'm trying to go through everything in my head to see if I did anything to offend him, or something. I'm drawing a blank. So uhh.. I really hope he doesn't stand me up because that's grounds for a ruined friendship, I swear it.

I am supposed to be taking a nap, so I'll go do that now ..

bibcards and notecards.

I`m surrounded by them. why in the hell didn`t i start this damned paper last week?! fml.

lately i`ve been curious as hell as to who the flip is my paternal grandfather is. when my father was little, he knew who his dad was, but the guy was always referred to "Uncle So-&-So". Idk, my granny had a lot of baby daddies. When I was 10, someone told me that this mystery guy passed away, and my dad went to the funeral without his children. all this time i've never known what his name is, he'd just be mentioned in passing. about a day ago i had a mental ass breakdown. i`m having an identity crisis. what is my real last name supposed to be? do i have other aunts and uncles and cousins? i just want to know. it doesn't help that no one is answering me. i asked my cousin and she completely ignored me. i texted my father and i got no response. what is going on here? why won't anyone tell me anything? i'm really frustrated.

besides that, i`m pretty good. i have a date for prom, which is in 27 days, so that's great.
School is over even sooner. i don't have to see those dusty hoes ever again after graduation, and that's what keeps me going. ^_^.

today is may 1st, and it's final that i`ll be attending MSU. whoooooop.

i should finish writing note cards now. >_<